Previously on Game of Chops:

Game 4, AOD: Fears of a False Spring

The Owners have brought freezing cold and resource constraints, but Azor Anthopoulos dedicates himself to saving the realm. With his flaming sword, Contractbringer, he has slowed the Owner’s advance. He inspired Ser Acuña, The Young to swear a new oath, promising to fight alongside the Knights of the Chop for years to come. In return, Ser Acuña was granted a fine castle and a full treasury. The smallfolk rejoice. Is their salvation at hand?

With the Knights defeated handily and repelled from Phillisport, the smallfolk were in a state of despair. The village council, wise men trusted to speak for the smallfolk, retreated to the Confounded Woods at the direction of Elder Coleman, searching for inspiration and answers.

Elsewhere in the War of the Five Teams: The Phillies of Phillisport continue their march through the Eastern Kingdoms. Ser Bryce, the Teamslayer, inspires their commonfolk to never-before-seen fervor. No Team can slow their advance, and the Philly Knights show no mercy. The Teamslayer even betrayed the team that fostered him in his youth. He led a brutal raid and defeated the City Guard of President’s Landing. His Knights massacred the morale of the the poor residents of gNats Bottom who once rested under his protection.

Game 4:

The common folk celebrate and drown horns of Terrapin ale! For the first time in this young campaign, the Knights of the Chop are victorious! Could this be the turning of the tide?

The battle was fierce and glorious. As the Knights approached the SunTrust Stronghold, the Windblown held the castle under siege.

But the Windblown failed to set defenses, making tactical error after tactical error. They left no scouts to screen the Knights’ approach, and the Knights of the Chop struck quickly. An early charge by Ser Ender took advantage of one defensive hole and left the Windblown camps in disarray. He was quickly followed into the breach by Josh son of Donald, a wildling in service to the Chop.

Meanwhile, Ser Newk of the Mounds Guard provided an effective defense despite his Walkscale infection. But when the Windblown threatened to strike back, it was a formerly unknown knight of the Second Strings who led the defense. Ser Parsons, champion of the lists at the annual Grapefruit Tourney in The Mouse Kingdom, allowed the Knights of the Chop to suffer minimal casualties.

By the end of the night, the Knights had returned victorious, and each soldier was cheered heartily. No cheers were quite so warm, though, as those for Ser Brian the Bold. After many years as a mercenary in foreign lands, Ser Brian returned to his homeland to join forces with his former companions, the Free Man and Ser Teheran. With this fellowship reestablished, the realm was filled with hope once more.

Game 5:

Following the initial rout, the Windblown regrouped for a counter-attack.

The common folk thought the Knights were safe. After victory in the previous battle and an honorable start by the veteran Mounds Guard Ser Julio, another successful clash seemed to be in reach.

The Hand, Lord Snit, prudently listened to his Small Council. Allowing Ser Ozhaino to lead the vanguard, the Hand brought the attack to the Windblown. This Council proved wise, as Ser Ozhaino launched a catapult into the their ranks.

However, the commonfolk were forced to question their faith in Lord Snit. The Fool Hand neglected the Walkscale quarantine, and even Ser Jonny the Resurrected fell victim to the plague.

Then the Hand erred yet again. The Windblown were attacking from the left flank, so Lord Snit reasoned that he should send a mercenary of the Second Strings who specialized in defending such attacks. Inexplicably, he selected the Jester Biddle.

At this point, the common folk were enraged. Watching from the battlements atop the SunTrust Stronghold, they proclaimed to one another, “Dammit Snitker, look at a stat line for once! Everyone knows Biddle has reverse splits!”

But Lord Snit was playing the long scheme. Against all odds, his plot to spread the Walkscale infection among the Windblown ranks via Ser Newk worked! The Windblown seemed to have the battle won, but in a crucial moment of this second battle, their defenses collapsed under the plague. The Windblown watched in horror as their reinforcements, led by Sergeant Cishek, crumbled to dust after succumbing to the Walkscale epidemic at a rate heretofore unseen in the Thirty Kingdoms.

This enabled Ser Johan, the Goat of Camar, to lead a final charge, turning the tide of the battle and decimating the Windblown .

Game 6:

The Knights of the Chop embraced the tide of battle and made a final charge to defeat the Windblown once and for all. If they succeeded, they would erase the embarrassing defeats in Phillisport.  

The Hand chose the newly knighted Ser Fried to lead the Mounds Guard. Ser Fried joined the realm’s forces some time ago following a hostage exchange with the Septons of San Diego. He had found some glory in battle as a mercenary of the Second Strings, serving honorably throughout the Dodgeraki Sieges in the War of the Fivepenny Teams’ closing stages.

The commonfolk watched silently as Ser Fried lasted over half the battle without allowing a single casualty. His mixture of precise attacks left the Windblown confounded.

Meanwhile, Nick “No One” Markakis, eliminated five enemies in single combat without taking a single wound. Even in the aftermath, the mysterious professional displayed no emotion.

With victory nearly secured, the Hand recalled Ser Fried and sent in the mercenaries of the Second Strings, who performed admirably. 

After securing the SunTrust Stronghold and ending the Windblown threat, the Knights of the Chop prepare to defend their home once more: ravens bring news that the Lord Walder Jeter has finally stirred from his castle.


Though it seems to be a simple victory, the Knights of the Chop must beware. The great Lords of the major kingdoms have long scoffed at the Late Lord Jeter, and he has taken note. Though he is not likely to sit on the Eastern Throne, he will ensure his House has a place in the wars to come. But who will earn Lord Jeter’s allegiance in this campaign? For whoever can pass Miami’s castle without taking casualties will certainly gain a major advantage in the War of the Five Teams.